I’ve never been one to be religious. I never really found fulfillment in believing in things I couldn’t see. As I grew older, I began to see things. Not like I was hallucinating or something, but realizations, I suppose. I began to see more things around me. Coincidences that seemed like they were too perfect to simply be coincidences. I ended up coming to peace in myself with believing in something higher than myself but I never put a name or a label on it, just being content to know that whatever it is, it’s there.
Older still, I began researching religions in an attempt to feel like I belonged to something. Through this I discovered Paganism. While it made sense to me in so many ways, it still didn’t quite fit me how I wanted it to.
And then I found My Chemical Romance. Stupid as it may seem, I felt part of something that was bigger than myself. I began to look at things differently. I truly began to see the power of music. Most of my closest online friends have been found through music, whether it was the Backstreet Boys (Chelle, Dani), The Calling (Jane, Rachel), Green Day (Lindz), or My Chemical Romance (Kathleen, Haleigh, Leenie [also partially Fall Out Boy], and to some extent, Chris and Celyn), music was always the reason we found each other.
Tonight, I had Motion Graphics class at 5pm. I showed up, and by five, all the class was there sitting in the hall. At about 5:30, Jesse went downstairs to the main desk to see what was up. At about 5:45, he came back and announced that our teacher was in New Mexico and the person that was going to come to our class and sub today just didn’t show up. Jenny and I took one look at each other and immediately decided to go to the Japanese restaurant we found over by Johnny Rocket’s and the movie theater in the Winter Park Village. Marina and Amanda said they might come, so I gave Marina my cell number and told her to call us if they decided to show. Jenny and I got to WPV, parked over by Guitar Center, and walked to the restaurant. We still hadn’t heard from Marina and company, so we walked over to Borders, got some stuff, and walked back to the restaurant. Still no word.
We went ahead and went in deciding that they’d probably decided no to come. We were sat at a two-person table next to a mom with her young daughter and the daughter’s two friends. As we sat there, Jenny and I smiled to each other. The mom was going on teaching the girls to use chopsticks, and walked them through eating Miso soup. They giggled and laughed, nobody fought, nobody whined. She was the perfect example of what a good mom is. She understood her kid was just that: a kid. She let them be goofy and slightly loud once and awhile, but the kids mostly behaved on their own. Mom hardly had to tell them to be quiet. They were so cute. Part of the way through dinner, we started talking, the mom and us. We talked until we were paid and then continued to sit and chat. The kids entertained themselves with chopsticks and the waiter, John, was so friendly and had fun with the kids himself asking which one was paying in his funny Japanese accent.
We talked about everything, especially the state of the world right now. How sad it is, really. About how the public school system is a babysitting system for parents who don’t give a crap about sending their kids to a good school. She sent her kids to a private Christian school. As a product of the public school system myself (as was the mom), we had both gone into college thinking we were missing something. The home-schooled and private-schooled kids were always the smarter ones, and we felt so dumb. I know my problem was that I wasn’t ready for it. When I was introduced to Geometry, I just couldn’t grasp it. Now that I’m at Full Sail, I got through Geometry actually understanding what I was doing. The same thing happened with Physics. Now I sit at a stop light and wonder how contact lenses work now that I understand how eyeglasses work. I’ve gained an appreciation for things that I hadn’t understood before. Then we got onto the topic of Shakesphere. Jenny, a product of home schooling, loves Shakesphere. In school, it was one of those things I never understood and was too afraid to ask. I’d already gotten kicked in the pants by science and math, and didn’t feel like asking about English, either. This mom, her husband and her are chefs, had a philosophy of trying everything once which is why they were at the restaurant. Jenny has the same philosophy, and I just go with the flow.
And then we got on the topic of religion. She and her family are Christian. Not the crazy, creepy kind. Her Church is the definition of what Christianity is: they love everyone. They don’t care if you’re gay, covered head to toe in tattoos, have sixty piercings, whatever. They will love you anyway. They are a Church of people who actually give a crap about things, their families, the world, and their lives. I’m thinking of checking it out. Not that I want to be Christian or anything, but just as a way to restore my faith in the human family. Nothing crazy or drastic, but something.
On the way back to school at about 8:15pm, we got in the car and “Mama” by My Chemical Romance came on (I had the CD in) and, in true My Chemical Romance fashion, Gerard starts singing, Mama, we all go to Hell. It was pretty classic. On the road heading back, “Disenchanted” comes on, and I couldn’t tell you the number of times I about broke down in tears because, for some reason, that song suddenly makes that much more sense to me. For some reason, My Chemical Romance makes so much more sense to me. And, for some reason, music makes so much more sense to me. You’re just a sad song with nothing to say about a lifelong wait for a hospital stay. If you think that I’m wrong, this never meant nothing to you. Where did you run to? Where did you hide?
Music is my religion, and My Chemical Romance is my messenger. Thank you.
Jenny and I are wearing the pirate hats we found at the party supplies store looking for Gerard’s boas. We also got a tiara so whoever gets it, gets it.